


I've been alone, you're not alone

by vrepitsals



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, basically just the comfort, just let them talk about stuff, voltron season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15172124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vrepitsals/pseuds/vrepitsals
Summary: Keith feels something heavy drop into his gut as he begins to understand why Lance is telling him this story. He waits for the words he knows are coming."The Baku used Hunk in much the same way that Haggar used Shiro."[alternately titled "The Voltron Support Group pt 1"]





	I've been alone, you're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> I really want Keith and Lance to talk about their shared trauma with mind control and help each other through it.

Lance corners Keith while the team are camping on a deserted planet.

Corners isn't really the right word. There's open air at Keith's back, and he knows that if he really tried, if he shouted or made a scene, possibly even if he just asked nicely, that Lance would back off.

But Lance approached him after dinner, with enough witnesses that Keith knows Krolia will ask him about it later if he shrugs Lance off now. Lance has him cornered into this conversation, as much as social niceties alone can corner anyone into anything.

Of course, corner also isn't the right word because it implies that Keith doesn't want to talk to Lance. Really, he's not sure if he wants anything more.

Being near Lance since he got back has been something of a double edged sword, pleasure mixed with pain. It's been much the same way with everyone on his team, of a hole in his chest finally filled mixed with a loneliness every time someone brings up something that happened while Keith was away.

They always explain it of course. Krolia and Romelle have no idea what has happened either, sometimes they need even more context than Keith. It never feels like Keith is the only one out of the loop. They never make him feel like the odd one out.

Still, Keith knows that he was the only one who chose to miss out on the adventures they tell stories about.

And Lance isn't special in the longing to get closer mixed with a fear that Keith had his chance and blew it. But Keith also can't say that the feelings there are exactly the same. They're stronger, for one, and they have a hint of something more, extra. Keith knows what it is, but he can't say he's ready to admit it out loud yet.

So when Lance approaches him, he decides to be friendly. There's no other pressing matters to attend to after all, they have time for this conversation now. But he also can't assume the closeness that they had before Keith left. It's been two years for Keith, a part of him isn't really even sure if he accurately remembers what that closeness felt like.

Sometimes he thinks the closeness felt achingly slow, like waiting for something Keith wasn't sure was coming. But he remembers that most days it felt like home.

"Hey man," Lance says, crossing his arms and looking at Keith seriously.

Keith wants to see Lance's easy grin. He wants to see the exuberance and loud declarations of his own achievements. They were never parts of Lance's character that Keith thought he would miss, but this new serious demeanour, this maturity Lance now sports feels like it was born of loneliness rather than growth.

"Is something wrong, Lance?"

Keith has been wanting to ask that since the mission ended and Lance didn't immediately revert back into the way he always was. When he didn't immediately goad Keith into a conversation or throw his arm around Hunk's shoulders.

Instead Allura had patted him on the back quietly, and he'd left to "go check up on Kaltenecker".

Lance looks slightly sheepish, but he doesn't fidget. His legs and arms don't betray his nervousness like they used to.

"Actually," Lance says, "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Keith starts. That's the last thing he expected Lance to say. It's the last thing he knows he deserves.

"What do you mean?"

"Well after what happened with Shiro-"

"It's fine Lance," Keith cuts him off, his voice harsher than it should be.

He doesn't want to talk about what happened. It wasn't anybody's fault but Haggar's, and talking about it like they never have their other battles makes it feel different. Makes it feel like there's something lingering.

Keith doesn't want to explain that talking about it feels like blaming Shiro for something he didn't do.

Lance sighs, turning his gaze towards the red sun that's slowly making its way below the horizon. It looks far too big to Keith's eyes. Even now he still silently compares everything to Earth.

When Lance looks back at Keith his face is sad, but Keith is surprised to see his eyes hold understanding rather than pity.

"I know it wasn't Shiro's fault Keith," Lance says, slow and gentle, as if he can read Keith's mind "and talking about it isn't blaming him. But nothing good comes from bottling things like this up inside."

Keith takes a moment to really look at Lance then. He sees the bags under his eyes, he sees the way his posture has slumped. He sees that there are the barest hints of tears nestling themselves in the corner of Lance's eye.

"You say that like you know it from experience," Keith says.

Lance looks away again, but his gaze isn't on the sunset this time. Instead, he gestures towards a small outcropping of rock, within eyesight of the rest of the camp but out of earshot. Keith follows silently. His head can't decide whether it wants to reel at the possibilities of Lance's lack of an answer, or simply sit in shocked wonder.

They sit down, side by side, and Keith is reminded that, where once he would have had to tilt his head ever so slightly upward to look Lance in the eye, now their lines of sight are directly level.

"Do you remember when Haggar corrupted our wormhole after we rescued Allura?" Lance asks, the non-sequitur to end all non-sequiturs.

Keith's eyebrows lower of their own accord. 

"Yeah? You and Hunk ended up on a mermaid planet, right?"

Lance gives something halfway between a smile and a grimace.

"Yeah. I don't think I ever told you the story of what happened there."

"You told us that you saved the day and that a mermaid kissed you on the cheek," Keith says, still not understanding.

Lance laughs then, loud and long. Something about it feels like a gut reaction, something less than genuine.

"I had some warped perceptions of what was important back then," Lance says.

"It was just over a year ago."

"Ah the foolishness of youth!" Lance yells, grinning at Keith with reckless abandon.

Keith can't help the way his lips curl up in response. Lance continues looking at Keith.

"That wasn't quite the full story," he says, and Keith nods.

"There was a giant sea monster living with the mermaids, eating them off one by one," Lance continues, "we didn't know it at the time, but it was controlling the mermaids through the food they ate. We had dinner with them. A few freedom fighters were able to rescue me and break me out of the mind control. Hunk wasn't so lucky."

Keith feels something heavy drop into his gut as he begins to understand why Lance is telling him this story. He waits for the words he knows are coming.

"The Baku used Hunk in much the same way that Haggar used Shiro."

"He tried to kill you," Keith says.

Lance looks conflicted for a moment, as if he's debating whether to clarify Keith's words. Keith thinks that it isn't that important, they both know that Hunk was not responsible for what happened, and Lance seemingly comes to the same conclusion. He all but deflates against the rock.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Lance breathes out loudly, in a way that could almost be described as a chuckle, and Keith feels the hypocrisy of his words wash over him. He was never planning on talking about what happened to Shiro, but Lance is different. Lance deserves everything. Keith never wants Lance to go something like this alone.

"I thought doing so would be blaming Hunk," Lance says, "and I didn't want anyone to think about him differently. I guess I was also just scared, and I thought not talking about it would be easier. I could give you a thousand reasons, but I don't really know why."

Keith hums.

"I guess I can't really talk," he says.

Lance breathes out again, this time definitely in mirth.

"Probably not. But we're going to talk about it now, right?"

If someone had asked Keith three days ago, he would never have believed that when the time came to talk about what happened he'd be smiling.

"Yeah," Keith says, and then he tells Lance about the fight with Haggar's clone.

He actually tells him. Not the one sentence summary he gave the team. He tells Lance how Haggar turned his brother against him. He talks of the pain of fighting, mixed with something far deeper. He tells Lance how his heart broke, when he saw Shiro look at him with malice-clouded eyes.

Lance nods and listens intently as he talks and Keith can tell that this information is safe with Lance. He trusts Lance more than he probably has anyone except Shiro.

Eventually the story is over, but Keith's worry still isn't spent.

"How do you get past it?" He asks, completely lost.

"Some of it's just time, I think," Lance says, giving Keith a small smile, "it would probably be good to talk about it with Shiro too, when you're ready."

"But it wasn't him who did anything. I don't-"

Keith trails off and Lance waits for the end of a sentence that doesn't come. Eventually, Lance picks up the conversation once more.

"I know Shiro was in the Astral plane when it all happened, but it might still be good to clear the air and make sure you're both on the same page."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't talk to Hunk because I didn't think it deserved talking about. Hunk assumed that I hadn't talked to him about it because a part of me didn't trust him. We've always been close, and you know Hunk's a hugger, but," Lance talks a deep, slow breath, "after what happened he didn't touch me for six months."

Keith's head reels for a moment. How could this have been going on with two of his teammates without him noticing? How did no one notice what was going on?

"We kind of fell apart for a bit there," Lance continues, "he spent more time with Pidge to give me space, when all I wanted was someone to be there for me. I thought he'd moved on from me."

Keith pauses at that, no idea what to say. Instead, he turns his palm face up and holds it out to Lance. Lance takes his offered hand and rests his head on Keith's shoulder.

"Is your friendship better now?" Keith asks.

"Yeah. We ended up talking about it a little while ago. We both felt awful, and the distance only made it harder. Hunk's still my best friend, don't get me wrong," Lance pauses, and Keith squeezes his hand, "but those months apart hurt, arguably more than what happened with the Baku. I don't want that to happen to you and Shiro."

Keith looks down at where Lance is rested against his shoulder. He wants to lean his forehead against Lance's hair, but settles for running his thumb across Lance's knuckles.

"He's my brother," Keith admits softly, "I can't lose him again."

Keith has already lost Shiro three times. Once to 'pilot error', once to a vicious trick, once to death. A fourth may break him beyond all repair.

Lance turns his head so that his chin is resting on Keith's shoulder and he's staring at Keith. Then, he closes the distance, leaning his forehead against Keith's and staring into his eyes with conviction.

Keith knows that anyone else would feel far too close. But Lance has always been special.

"You won't," Lance all but whispers, like making it a secret means it must be true.

Keith can't help but believe him.

They stay like that for a few moments, before Lance smiles and leans back to lay his cheek on Keith's shoulder once more. Keith turns his gaze to where the Lions are parked about thirty meters away. He rubs his thumb across Lance's knuckles again and Lance hums, content.

"Allura said you unlocked a new form with your bayard," Keith says, changing the subject to something more pleasant.

"Yeah, an Altean Broadsword. Remind me to kick your butt with it the next time we spar."

Keith laughs and Lance pokes him gently in the side with their joined hands.

"How about tomorrow morning before we head out?" Keith asks.

"It's a date."

Keith leans his head to rest on top of Lance's and they fall back into silence. He knows that his problems aren't gone, but they feel smaller knowing that he doesn't have to face them alone. Lance understands, and Keith knows that Lance will be by his side in this, the way he always has been.

He also knows that he and Lance will need to talk about this fragile thing blossoming between them. It will be a far more pleasant conversation than the one he needs to have with Shiro, but no less important.

He wants to make sure Lance knows how special he is, that he also won't have to face things alone.

But the evening is peaceful, and there's no pressing missions to run or evil to fight. The trip to Earth will take a while, and he and Lance will be together every step of the way. They need to talk, but they have time to rest too.

For once, they have time.


End file.
